Given the financial climate, nearly everyone with a pulse has been in discussions focusing on what they should do about the current economic crisis. The gravity of this downturn provides a rare opportunity for us to assess our ability to weather the storm and take corrective action.
Inaction is the riskiest response to the uncertainties of an economic crisis, but rash or scattershot action can be nearly as damaging. Raising anxiety (how much worse are things likely to get?, how long is this going to last?) and the growing pressure to do something often produces a variety of uncoordinated moves that target the wrong problem or overshoot the right one. An unconscious reaction can also generate a sense of panic. And that will distract people from seeing something crucially important: the hidden but significant opportunities nested among the bad economic news.
In his book Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, Dan Goleman writes about an “emotional economy”, the net inner gains and losses we experience with a given person, or in a given conversation, or on any given day. In short, he says that the emotions we catch have consequences. And that gives us good reason to understand how to shift them for the better.
Goleman refers to “social intelligence” as the ability to read other people's cues and then act on them. Social intelligence can be described as a combination of abilities: the first is a basic understanding of people, and the second is the skills needed for interacting successfully with them.
Social intelligence can be thought of as encompassing five dimensions: presence, clarity, awareness, authenticity, and empathy. We might think of “social intelligence” as a shorthand term for being intelligent not just about our relationships but also in them.
Social intelligence equates with presence. When we are fully in the present moment, attentive, actively listening, engaged in conversation, we have presence. When we become lost in thought and don’t pay attention to what is being said to us, we have no presence. The bottom line is that social intelligence is about connecting with people. The better we do that, the more successful and happy we are.
Successfully leading ourselves through an adaptive challenge also calls for a high degree of emotional intelligence. In his earlier book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Goleman writes about emotional intelligence as a set of skills, which includes self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill. Here it is important to emphasize that building one’s emotional intelligence cannot – will not – happen without a sincere desire and concerted effort.
We live in the age of distraction. Yet one of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that our brightest future hinges on our ability to pay attention to the present.
I encourage everyone to stay present to the economic situation. Whenever you feel anxious about your financial situation, just breathe. Often, we’re so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what’s happening right now. Living in the moment makes people happier because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. As Mark Twain said, “I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past.
We are not our thoughts. Most of us do not undertake our thoughts in awareness. Rather, our thoughts control us. We need to live more in the moment. Living in the moment – also called mindfulness – is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to experience.
Emotional and social intelligence can be learned. The process is not easy. It takes time, and most of all, commitment. In alignment with the suggestions provided by Conscious Dynamics in teaching communication, practice self-observation and take personal responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. But the benefits that come from having well-developed emotional and social intelligence makes it worth the effort.
Individuals that adopt the approach to raise emotional and social intelligence will not only be better placed to weather the current storm but also primed to seize the opportunities emerging from the turbulence and to get a head start on the competition as the dark clouds begin to disperse.
Tom Sylvester
President
Conscious Dynamics LLC
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Nonresistance
by Tom Sylvester
You may think of nonresistance as an indifferent, spiritless yielding to whatever occurs. If you think so, you miss the meaning of the word and the act.
Nonresistance is stronger than resistance; its practice requires more mind capacity and consciousness than is required for resistance. Eckhart Tolle says “All inner resistance is experienced as negativity in one form or another. All negativity is resistance. In this context, the two words are almost synonymous.”
Resistance is not strength; it is the weakness of ignorance. The things that you meet in life do not hurt you. They are powerless to affect you. But your reaction to them may hurt you. If you resist by active opposition, you most certainly will be hurt. You may be able to claim the victory, but you will be scarred by the wounds of the contest.
Nonresistance is the defense against which no attack can be launched. The essence of nonresistance is unity. The practice of nonresistance becomes easy when you take the attitude toward the universe that no one or nothing is against you. The universe is safe. It is inconceivably valuable to you.
“What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is?” - Eckhart Tolle
All suffering arises from the mind.
Resistance is suffering.
Oppose nothing.
You may think of nonresistance as an indifferent, spiritless yielding to whatever occurs. If you think so, you miss the meaning of the word and the act.
Nonresistance is stronger than resistance; its practice requires more mind capacity and consciousness than is required for resistance. Eckhart Tolle says “All inner resistance is experienced as negativity in one form or another. All negativity is resistance. In this context, the two words are almost synonymous.”
Resistance is not strength; it is the weakness of ignorance. The things that you meet in life do not hurt you. They are powerless to affect you. But your reaction to them may hurt you. If you resist by active opposition, you most certainly will be hurt. You may be able to claim the victory, but you will be scarred by the wounds of the contest.
Nonresistance is the defense against which no attack can be launched. The essence of nonresistance is unity. The practice of nonresistance becomes easy when you take the attitude toward the universe that no one or nothing is against you. The universe is safe. It is inconceivably valuable to you.
“What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is?” - Eckhart Tolle
All suffering arises from the mind.
Resistance is suffering.
Oppose nothing.
Teambuilding - The Time Is Now
by Tom Sylvester
Companies need effective teambuilding now even more than before to help enhance employee skills, improve morale, and provide the people who remain with tools to work better and more efficiently together. I see consistently that teambuilding training offers the added value companies need more than ever when times are very difficult and challenging.
The economy may not make this New Year seem very champagne-worthy, but business professionals can have many ways in the year ahead to show their value to the organization. Tough times can bring opportunities for those who are ready to pursue them. This is precisely the time to mobilize resources and invest in training for your competitive edge.
A downturn presents a fantastic opportunity to enhance the skills your people really need to excel. “Are you kidding?” you might ask. I have found that even in the best of times, organizations often pay only lip service to employee training and skills enhancement. Frequently, I hear executives say “When times are tough, training is a luxury.” Not so.
Often that’s precisely when there is the time to give your people the chance to better themselves. Employees at all levels can benefit by receiving training to improve their teambuilding, and team working skills, and bringing in a sense of personal responsibility and other skills that can pay off for the organization when normalcy returns to the economy.
In company after company, I have seen individuals who are great when it comes to their performance but fail to build teams or to be an instrumental part of a team. The organization finds it difficult to do away with them since they contribute significantly, particularly in the short term. In the long term, however, such individuals are value dissipaters. Investing in training such managers in particular to act in ways that strengthen the organization is probably the best investment that a company can make in a downturn.
Most challenges in the workplace today require much more than good solo performance. In increasingly complex organizations, success depends upon the degree of interdependence recognized within the team.
Research studies have shown that star performers with poor team skills became change agents within their companies after going through cycles of team-building exercises. Teach solo high performers how to collaborate better, focus on the big picture and consider the organizational implications of their work, and you will reap sizable rewards.
Of course, casting a downturn as an opportunity to fine tune employee skills is not easy. It requires visionary leadership, a courageous attitude to look at a downturn as a time to fine-tune the organization. Various stakeholders’ anxieties about the short-term need to be assuaged and be framed in a long-term context. That includes the people whose skills are being improved. They need to have a broad enough view of how their professional development fits into individual and organizational goals to be sufficiently motivated to make the training investment pay off. And they must be confident that the organization’s culture will support the learning process.
Actively seizing a downturn as an opportunity can reduce the pain of the current one and can soften the blow of the next. Those are luxuries you can’t afford not to indulge in.
Teambuilding is a process of awareness building. It’s helping people to understand themselves and realize that they are greater collectively than individually. It is an understanding that all of our decisions will be better when some degree of collaboration is applied. It is bringing people to a place where there is an honest appreciation of each other.
Organizations would do well to invest in people and enhance what Nobel Laureate Mohammed Yunus calls “Social Capital.” The term encompasses those social relationships that help people to get along with each other and act more effectively than they could as isolated individuals.
Fostering teamwork is a top priority for many successful leaders. The benefits are clear: increased productivity, improved problem-solving, employee empowerment, improves morale and leadership skills.
Training teaches employees how to raise awareness, build relationships, effectively communicate, and resolve conflicts creatively that can have a major impact on team collaboration. Expertise at communicating is never more needed than when times are challenging. The most productive, innovative teams are led by people who are both task and relationship oriented.
It is no longer a luxury to have work teams that can perform effectively within a turbulent environment. It is a necessity. Teams must not only respond to change, but actually initiate it and consciously create a promising business horizon.
Companies need effective teambuilding now even more than before to help enhance employee skills, improve morale, and provide the people who remain with tools to work better and more efficiently together. I see consistently that teambuilding training offers the added value companies need more than ever when times are very difficult and challenging.
The economy may not make this New Year seem very champagne-worthy, but business professionals can have many ways in the year ahead to show their value to the organization. Tough times can bring opportunities for those who are ready to pursue them. This is precisely the time to mobilize resources and invest in training for your competitive edge.
A downturn presents a fantastic opportunity to enhance the skills your people really need to excel. “Are you kidding?” you might ask. I have found that even in the best of times, organizations often pay only lip service to employee training and skills enhancement. Frequently, I hear executives say “When times are tough, training is a luxury.” Not so.
Often that’s precisely when there is the time to give your people the chance to better themselves. Employees at all levels can benefit by receiving training to improve their teambuilding, and team working skills, and bringing in a sense of personal responsibility and other skills that can pay off for the organization when normalcy returns to the economy.
In company after company, I have seen individuals who are great when it comes to their performance but fail to build teams or to be an instrumental part of a team. The organization finds it difficult to do away with them since they contribute significantly, particularly in the short term. In the long term, however, such individuals are value dissipaters. Investing in training such managers in particular to act in ways that strengthen the organization is probably the best investment that a company can make in a downturn.
Most challenges in the workplace today require much more than good solo performance. In increasingly complex organizations, success depends upon the degree of interdependence recognized within the team.
Research studies have shown that star performers with poor team skills became change agents within their companies after going through cycles of team-building exercises. Teach solo high performers how to collaborate better, focus on the big picture and consider the organizational implications of their work, and you will reap sizable rewards.
Of course, casting a downturn as an opportunity to fine tune employee skills is not easy. It requires visionary leadership, a courageous attitude to look at a downturn as a time to fine-tune the organization. Various stakeholders’ anxieties about the short-term need to be assuaged and be framed in a long-term context. That includes the people whose skills are being improved. They need to have a broad enough view of how their professional development fits into individual and organizational goals to be sufficiently motivated to make the training investment pay off. And they must be confident that the organization’s culture will support the learning process.
Actively seizing a downturn as an opportunity can reduce the pain of the current one and can soften the blow of the next. Those are luxuries you can’t afford not to indulge in.
Teambuilding is a process of awareness building. It’s helping people to understand themselves and realize that they are greater collectively than individually. It is an understanding that all of our decisions will be better when some degree of collaboration is applied. It is bringing people to a place where there is an honest appreciation of each other.
Organizations would do well to invest in people and enhance what Nobel Laureate Mohammed Yunus calls “Social Capital.” The term encompasses those social relationships that help people to get along with each other and act more effectively than they could as isolated individuals.
Fostering teamwork is a top priority for many successful leaders. The benefits are clear: increased productivity, improved problem-solving, employee empowerment, improves morale and leadership skills.
Training teaches employees how to raise awareness, build relationships, effectively communicate, and resolve conflicts creatively that can have a major impact on team collaboration. Expertise at communicating is never more needed than when times are challenging. The most productive, innovative teams are led by people who are both task and relationship oriented.
It is no longer a luxury to have work teams that can perform effectively within a turbulent environment. It is a necessity. Teams must not only respond to change, but actually initiate it and consciously create a promising business horizon.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Reflections and Resolutions
The New Year is generally a time to reflect back over the previous year, taking stock of what we have accomplished and reflecting on what we will work on to continue our growth. I believe it is best to organize the way we reflect into three categories or centers of being: body, mind and heart (or soul).
The human being unfolds during her lifetime. We grow our bodies, our minds (or human consciousness), and of course, our hearts or souls. We can’t grow ourselves out of order; we must grow in the stages that are age appropriate. In other words we are not a finished product when we are born. We must age and evolve over our lifetimes, and we are a process, not a product.
Take some quiet time to reflect back over the last year, and note the gains in all three centers of being. Ask yourself the question, have I arrived at my goals and aspirations in these centers? If the answer is yes, look again. You may be fooling yourself or settling for less than you are capable of becoming. Be sure to be “brutally honest” with yourself. If you find that you are having trouble answering the question, ask your partner, a family member or a dear friend to assist you with exploring your growth to date. Many of us are on automatic pilot and are therefore just settling into a life that feels content but is not one that is actually stretching us. I believe that we become fixated in the three centers by behaving, thinking and feeling habitually. Establishing an inner observer (an aspect of yourself that observes how you are reacting or responding to your life) during your reflection time will allow you to know for sure if you are just fooling yourself and are on auto pilot, or if you are truly stretching yourself and growing.
For instance, if you are looking at the body center, you might ask these questions: Am I healthy, physically fit, at a weight that feels good for me? Am I eating correctly, monitoring what I choose to put into my body in terms of food, drink, and substances? Am I listening to the aches and pains that sometimes occur and getting things checked out as they arise, or am I ignoring the warning signs in my body? Do I get enough sleep? Do I meditate and pray as often as my body needs? Am I happy with my sex life? Do I honor my body in all possible ways, nurturing it as the temple that it truly is? Remind yourself that what is right for you may not be what we normally see in the media each day. Be sure to give your body the right to speak its mind. An example might be that being twenty pounds overweight might not mean that you are unhealthy…take the entire gestalt into perspective and give yourself the freedom to be who you truly are. Accepting yourself is a basic building block to creating health and wholeness in your life.
When examining the mental center, ask yourself questions that help you to clarify how your thoughts are affecting you. Do I trust myself and my world? Are my thoughts compassionate and loving toward self and others? Am I filled with fear? Remember that there are only two states of being: fear and love. If you are in a thought pattern that involves fear, then it is hard to know that you are love and that love is surrounding you in all aspects of your life. Am I in judgment of myself or others in any way? Remind yourself of all of the “perceived negative judgments” that have in fact turned out to be a blessing once we have gotten some distance from it.
When examining the heart center or the soul center, first “soften the heart” allowing yourself to be gentle with all that is. Some questions that you might explore here are: Am I being gentle with myself and others? Do I have compassion in my heart for all people? Can I honor feelings in myself and others? Am I moving along the path that God has intended for me? Am I manifesting reality in a way that is consistent with my higher self? Antoine de Saint Exupery said, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Your heart is the light that leads you.
So, after all of this reflection then set aside some time to be present to setting three to five intentions or resolutions that will guide you in the unfolding of your life over the next year. Be ready to revise these as new information shows up over the course of the year.
May your year be filled with loving kindness, compassion and an open heart.
Deborah Ooten, Ph.D.
CEO
Conscious Dynamics LLC
The human being unfolds during her lifetime. We grow our bodies, our minds (or human consciousness), and of course, our hearts or souls. We can’t grow ourselves out of order; we must grow in the stages that are age appropriate. In other words we are not a finished product when we are born. We must age and evolve over our lifetimes, and we are a process, not a product.
Take some quiet time to reflect back over the last year, and note the gains in all three centers of being. Ask yourself the question, have I arrived at my goals and aspirations in these centers? If the answer is yes, look again. You may be fooling yourself or settling for less than you are capable of becoming. Be sure to be “brutally honest” with yourself. If you find that you are having trouble answering the question, ask your partner, a family member or a dear friend to assist you with exploring your growth to date. Many of us are on automatic pilot and are therefore just settling into a life that feels content but is not one that is actually stretching us. I believe that we become fixated in the three centers by behaving, thinking and feeling habitually. Establishing an inner observer (an aspect of yourself that observes how you are reacting or responding to your life) during your reflection time will allow you to know for sure if you are just fooling yourself and are on auto pilot, or if you are truly stretching yourself and growing.
For instance, if you are looking at the body center, you might ask these questions: Am I healthy, physically fit, at a weight that feels good for me? Am I eating correctly, monitoring what I choose to put into my body in terms of food, drink, and substances? Am I listening to the aches and pains that sometimes occur and getting things checked out as they arise, or am I ignoring the warning signs in my body? Do I get enough sleep? Do I meditate and pray as often as my body needs? Am I happy with my sex life? Do I honor my body in all possible ways, nurturing it as the temple that it truly is? Remind yourself that what is right for you may not be what we normally see in the media each day. Be sure to give your body the right to speak its mind. An example might be that being twenty pounds overweight might not mean that you are unhealthy…take the entire gestalt into perspective and give yourself the freedom to be who you truly are. Accepting yourself is a basic building block to creating health and wholeness in your life.
When examining the mental center, ask yourself questions that help you to clarify how your thoughts are affecting you. Do I trust myself and my world? Are my thoughts compassionate and loving toward self and others? Am I filled with fear? Remember that there are only two states of being: fear and love. If you are in a thought pattern that involves fear, then it is hard to know that you are love and that love is surrounding you in all aspects of your life. Am I in judgment of myself or others in any way? Remind yourself of all of the “perceived negative judgments” that have in fact turned out to be a blessing once we have gotten some distance from it.
When examining the heart center or the soul center, first “soften the heart” allowing yourself to be gentle with all that is. Some questions that you might explore here are: Am I being gentle with myself and others? Do I have compassion in my heart for all people? Can I honor feelings in myself and others? Am I moving along the path that God has intended for me? Am I manifesting reality in a way that is consistent with my higher self? Antoine de Saint Exupery said, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Your heart is the light that leads you.
So, after all of this reflection then set aside some time to be present to setting three to five intentions or resolutions that will guide you in the unfolding of your life over the next year. Be ready to revise these as new information shows up over the course of the year.
May your year be filled with loving kindness, compassion and an open heart.
Deborah Ooten, Ph.D.
CEO
Conscious Dynamics LLC
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
No Looking Back, It's NOW!
We are thirteen days into 2009! This past weekend I taught one of the School of Conscious Living classes, I was very aware that the individuals in the class were in good emotional, financial and physical shape. As they checked in, however, there was a future projection of worry about job security, enough resources, concerns about what would happen in the year ahead. I invited us all to get present in the moment!. When we looked at the very moment in front of us we were all perfectly held in the divine moment...nothing was wrong, no one was suffering! Suffering occurs in the mind and it is not found in the present moment, this does not mean that we will not experience pain, but suffering is past or future oriented, it is in the mind.
Today, I was on my way to pick up some ink for my printer and i observed an old woman fall down as she was attempting to climb the stairs to her house. Two male joggers ran right past her, leaving her on the ground. I made a U-turn and helped the woman into her house, she was clearly shaken. I noticed that she had a few cans of food in the bag that she was carrying and that she would have had to walk a long way with her cane in cold weather to get these few items. She was not suffering, she was in pain, but she thanked God the entire time I was assisting her. My staff and I have decided to take food and necessities to her and keep an eye on her for this year.
It is essential that we stay AWAKE as we watch our colleagues, friends and family members transition in their jobs, relationships and status. We must make an effort to remain conscious in the present moment, not worrying about the future or jogging by when we see someone in need...
The Enneagram is one of the greatest gifts to help us stay awake, aware and conscious. Consider using this with your team, friends, family and yourself. NOW is the only time that we have, and there is no need to suffer as the mind plays tricks on us.
Deborah A. Ooten, Ph.D.
CEO
Conscious Dynamics, LLC
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
NOW! Is the best time to invest in your people!
Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers" describes the importance of connections, families and relationships. He also highlights passion, talent, hard work, and practical intelligence (emotional and social intelligence) as key features that help individuals and companies move toward success.
Unfortunately, often the first thing to go when the economy dips is our attention to these very things. Individuals and companies can become focused on the bottom line, the numbers! In order to insure that the numbers stay up or come back up it is vital that companies attend to the individuals, teams and families that make the company great.
When companies cut back to decrease costs, that adds greater pressure to those that are left to carry on the work. It is essential to provide the individuals that are staying and leaving with the transitional assistance that they need to thrive. In order to keep things fluid, without resistance, there is a need to provide ongoing training and assistance to all of the individuals that have served the company well...remember they or their children may return to work for or own the company!
People are the primary resource that runs our companies! Let's make sure that we attend to the individuals that work hard, have passion, and have demonstrated talent no matter what the circumstances are in the company! The investment in these individuals is the practically intelligent thing to do!
Deborah Ooten, Ph.D.
CEO
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