Weathering the Storm

Given the financial climate, nearly everyone with a pulse has been in discussions focusing on what they should do about the current economic crisis. The gravity of this downturn provides a rare opportunity for us to assess our ability to weather the storm and take corrective action.

Inaction is the riskiest response to the uncertainties of an economic crisis, but rash or scattershot action can be nearly as damaging. Raising anxiety (how much worse are things likely to get?, how long is this going to last?) and the growing pressure to do something often produces a variety of uncoordinated moves that target the wrong problem or overshoot the right one. An unconscious reaction can also generate a sense of panic. And that will distract people from seeing something crucially important: the hidden but significant opportunities nested among the bad economic news.

In his book Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, Dan Goleman writes about an “emotional economy”, the net inner gains and losses we experience with a given person, or in a given conversation, or on any given day. In short, he says that the emotions we catch have consequences. And that gives us good reason to understand how to shift them for the better.

Goleman refers to “social intelligence” as the ability to read other people's cues and then act on them. Social intelligence can be described as a combination of abilities: the first is a basic understanding of people, and the second is the skills needed for interacting successfully with them.

Social intelligence can be thought of as encompassing five dimensions: presence, clarity, awareness, authenticity, and empathy. We might think of “social intelligence” as a shorthand term for being intelligent not just about our relationships but also in them.

Social intelligence equates with presence. When we are fully in the present moment, attentive, actively listening, engaged in conversation, we have presence. When we become lost in thought and don’t pay attention to what is being said to us, we have no presence. The bottom line is that social intelligence is about connecting with people. The better we do that, the more successful and happy we are.

Successfully leading ourselves through an adaptive challenge also calls for a high degree of emotional intelligence. In his earlier book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Goleman writes about emotional intelligence as a set of skills, which includes self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill. Here it is important to emphasize that building one’s emotional intelligence cannot – will not – happen without a sincere desire and concerted effort.

We live in the age of distraction. Yet one of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that our brightest future hinges on our ability to pay attention to the present.

I encourage everyone to stay present to the economic situation. Whenever you feel anxious about your financial situation, just breathe. Often, we’re so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what’s happening right now. Living in the moment makes people happier because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. As Mark Twain said, “I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past.

We are not our thoughts. Most of us do not undertake our thoughts in awareness. Rather, our thoughts control us. We need to live more in the moment. Living in the moment – also called mindfulness – is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to experience.

Emotional and social intelligence can be learned. The process is not easy. It takes time, and most of all, commitment. In alignment with the suggestions provided by Conscious Dynamics in teaching communication, practice self-observation and take personal responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. But the benefits that come from having well-developed emotional and social intelligence makes it worth the effort.

Individuals that adopt the approach to raise emotional and social intelligence will not only be better placed to weather the current storm but also primed to seize the opportunities emerging from the turbulence and to get a head start on the competition as the dark clouds begin to disperse.

Tom Sylvester
President
Conscious Dynamics LLC